Another
day, another article about the dysfunction of Congress. Why oh why
can’t Congress get its shit together and do their motherfuckin jobs?
What sort of warped suckitude is Congress working up to ruin everyone’s
summer, you ask?
It’s the filibuster! Or rather, filibuster reform through the nuclear
option of changing the rules to allow a simple majority to move through
some (but not all) Senate nominees in order to fill a multitude of
judicial and executive vacancies. SO EXCITING! It is, dammit, and we are
here to make it more interesting to learn about, so pay attention!
Sen. Reid is threatening to bust out a Congressional nuke in order to virtually ditch the filibuster to more swiftly move the Prezzy’s judicial nominees because he is sick and tired of the GOP mucking things up. How will this happen, you wonder? Buckle your safety belt, we are about to get medieval on this filibuster shit, Wonksplainer style.
First, we have to understand the process for judicial and other nominees who need Senate approval. When the Founding Fathers brought the Constitution down from Mt. Sinai, The LordTM ordained that the Senate give their “advice and consent” to certain judicial and executive positions, such as Cabinet secretaries, Supreme Court justices, Federal Court judges, Ambassadors, dog walkers, back-up drivers, Air Force One pilots, food tasters, babysitters, Seal Team Six members, and anyone who will participate in a threesome with the First Couple (that last one was waived by unanimous consent during the Reagan and Bush I presidencies).
In The Beginning, there were a couple hundred nominees. As time moved on, more and more were added. President Kennedy had 850 Senate-confirmed positions in his administration, and now President Obama has 1,215 to fill. And that’s not counting various judges that need to be confirmed by the Senate. Many positions sail through the Senate via a process known as unanimous consent. This is basically a process where no Senator objects to a nominee (or even a piece of legislation) and it passes the Senate because no one cares enough to say no. This is how most stuff passes the Senate, no lie. Yay Democracy!
However, the Senate L.O.V.E.S to make more and more positions Senate-confirmable. This way, they have more power to completely dick around with the President and hold up his nominees for completely arbitrary reasons like whiny little babies who demand that they get their way or they will whine and cry and hold up your nominee even if they poop their pants. Srsly, many Senators will hold up minor nominees for months for completely unrelated issues, or in order to add an amendment to a completely unrelated bill, because they have the power to do that, and are just dickish enough to do it.
So where are we going with this? Ah yes, the filibuster reform.
To hold up nominees, Senators threaten to filibuster them. This is not the romantic notion of the filibuster, a la Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. No talking is actually necessarily. Basically, just the threat is enough to keep the process from moving forward because like the rest of America, the Senate is just pretty damn lazy, or something. It’s complicated and not exactly relevant for this post. Anyway, Senators threaten to filibuster and the only way to move forward is through invoking cloture.
Cloture is pretty much a made-up Senate word that means to put a time limit on debate. This way, Sen. Asshat McClownfart (R-Flyover) can’t yap his pissflaps forever and keep something (like a judicial nominee or health care for poor people) from moving forward. But it takes 60 votes to invoke cloture, which ain’t that easy to do because all the Republicans in the Senate suck at the teat of Tea Party monies, and the Tea Party hates to see any laws pass because liberty.
Even if cloture is invoked, debate is limited to 30 hours, so nothing can pass for like 2 days even after they get cloture. And if the GOP really wants to throw a wrench in something, they can try to filibuster a bill twice, meaning it takes 60 hours (one can filibuster both the motion to proceed, and then the final passage of a bill. Congress is complicated and ridiculous).
The GOP in the Senate has decided that the only liberal position it will take is the liberal use of the filibuster. They filibuster EVERY GODDAM THING all the time, which is why nothing can ever get done without 60 votes and an assload of floor time. When Dems were in the minority in the mid-2000s, the Senate filed for cloture between 60-80 times per two-year session. Once the GOP became the minority, those numbers skyrocketed to almost 140 times, per data from the Washington Post.
Sen. Reid (D-ScrappyDoo) is finally mad as hell and not gonna to take it anymore. He is threatening to go nuclear, which is basically to use a little-known Senate procedure to change the process on some nominees so that a simple 51-vote majority is enough to get folks confirmed. He has changed the rules once before back in 2011 after the Senate had moved on to final passage of a bill, and it caused Sen. McConnell to basically flip his shit.
At the beginning of this Congressional session, Sen. Reid had the opportunity to support Jeff Merkley (D-OR) and Tom Udall (D-NM) and other liberals in a comprehensive filibuster reform effort. He wussed out, and ended up working with Sen. McConnell on a watered-down agreement that basically sucks. They agreed that the GOP would rein in filibustering qualified nominees and limit cloture to less time if it passed if Sen. Reid would allow a more open process to add amendments to bills.
Now, however, there are three vacancies on the D.C. Court of Appeals, commonly considered the second-most powerful court in the land. President Obama is set to announce folks to fill those positions. Take it away, Mother Jones:
In a nutshell, the GOP does everything in its power to ensure that Congress doesn’t get anything done, and President Obama can’t make many of his Constitutionally-mandated appointments. This is the obstruction that is commonly blathered about in the media, but no one takes the time to explain, so then people blame all of Congress, rather than the FUCKING GOP ASSHOLES who are actually the ones mucking up the system and wasting time because they are sore loser crybabies who hate Our Glorified Leader, His Excellency Barack Obama, Esq.
However, Sen. Reid has said that he won’t begin any nuke-dropping until after the immigration bill moves, so it could be July before we see these fireworks (get it – July… fireworks? Whatever, you people only appreciate peener jokes. Fine, we’ll finish with one).
Let’s hope Sen. Reid can swing his turgid penis in the face of opposition, and spray the entire Senate with the sweet release of filibuster reform!
[HuffPo/Mother Jones/Washington Post/The Hill]
Sen. Reid is threatening to bust out a Congressional nuke in order to virtually ditch the filibuster to more swiftly move the Prezzy’s judicial nominees because he is sick and tired of the GOP mucking things up. How will this happen, you wonder? Buckle your safety belt, we are about to get medieval on this filibuster shit, Wonksplainer style.
First, we have to understand the process for judicial and other nominees who need Senate approval. When the Founding Fathers brought the Constitution down from Mt. Sinai, The LordTM ordained that the Senate give their “advice and consent” to certain judicial and executive positions, such as Cabinet secretaries, Supreme Court justices, Federal Court judges, Ambassadors, dog walkers, back-up drivers, Air Force One pilots, food tasters, babysitters, Seal Team Six members, and anyone who will participate in a threesome with the First Couple (that last one was waived by unanimous consent during the Reagan and Bush I presidencies).
In The Beginning, there were a couple hundred nominees. As time moved on, more and more were added. President Kennedy had 850 Senate-confirmed positions in his administration, and now President Obama has 1,215 to fill. And that’s not counting various judges that need to be confirmed by the Senate. Many positions sail through the Senate via a process known as unanimous consent. This is basically a process where no Senator objects to a nominee (or even a piece of legislation) and it passes the Senate because no one cares enough to say no. This is how most stuff passes the Senate, no lie. Yay Democracy!
However, the Senate L.O.V.E.S to make more and more positions Senate-confirmable. This way, they have more power to completely dick around with the President and hold up his nominees for completely arbitrary reasons like whiny little babies who demand that they get their way or they will whine and cry and hold up your nominee even if they poop their pants. Srsly, many Senators will hold up minor nominees for months for completely unrelated issues, or in order to add an amendment to a completely unrelated bill, because they have the power to do that, and are just dickish enough to do it.
So where are we going with this? Ah yes, the filibuster reform.
To hold up nominees, Senators threaten to filibuster them. This is not the romantic notion of the filibuster, a la Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. No talking is actually necessarily. Basically, just the threat is enough to keep the process from moving forward because like the rest of America, the Senate is just pretty damn lazy, or something. It’s complicated and not exactly relevant for this post. Anyway, Senators threaten to filibuster and the only way to move forward is through invoking cloture.
Cloture is pretty much a made-up Senate word that means to put a time limit on debate. This way, Sen. Asshat McClownfart (R-Flyover) can’t yap his pissflaps forever and keep something (like a judicial nominee or health care for poor people) from moving forward. But it takes 60 votes to invoke cloture, which ain’t that easy to do because all the Republicans in the Senate suck at the teat of Tea Party monies, and the Tea Party hates to see any laws pass because liberty.
Even if cloture is invoked, debate is limited to 30 hours, so nothing can pass for like 2 days even after they get cloture. And if the GOP really wants to throw a wrench in something, they can try to filibuster a bill twice, meaning it takes 60 hours (one can filibuster both the motion to proceed, and then the final passage of a bill. Congress is complicated and ridiculous).
The GOP in the Senate has decided that the only liberal position it will take is the liberal use of the filibuster. They filibuster EVERY GODDAM THING all the time, which is why nothing can ever get done without 60 votes and an assload of floor time. When Dems were in the minority in the mid-2000s, the Senate filed for cloture between 60-80 times per two-year session. Once the GOP became the minority, those numbers skyrocketed to almost 140 times, per data from the Washington Post.
Sen. Reid (D-ScrappyDoo) is finally mad as hell and not gonna to take it anymore. He is threatening to go nuclear, which is basically to use a little-known Senate procedure to change the process on some nominees so that a simple 51-vote majority is enough to get folks confirmed. He has changed the rules once before back in 2011 after the Senate had moved on to final passage of a bill, and it caused Sen. McConnell to basically flip his shit.
At the beginning of this Congressional session, Sen. Reid had the opportunity to support Jeff Merkley (D-OR) and Tom Udall (D-NM) and other liberals in a comprehensive filibuster reform effort. He wussed out, and ended up working with Sen. McConnell on a watered-down agreement that basically sucks. They agreed that the GOP would rein in filibustering qualified nominees and limit cloture to less time if it passed if Sen. Reid would allow a more open process to add amendments to bills.
Now, however, there are three vacancies on the D.C. Court of Appeals, commonly considered the second-most powerful court in the land. President Obama is set to announce folks to fill those positions. Take it away, Mother Jones:
The strategy appears to be simple: nominate three judges who are left-of-center but basically uncontroversial, giving Republicans no legitimate hook for opposition. If they filibuster anyway, implicitly breaking their promise earlier this year to rein in their obstructionism, maybe centrist Democrats can finally be persuaded to support serious filibuster reform.The Dems are also angry about GOP stall tactics with other nominees, such as Secretary of Labor nominee Thomas Perez, EPA nominee Gina McCarthy, and Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Richard Cordray, among about a zillion others.
In a nutshell, the GOP does everything in its power to ensure that Congress doesn’t get anything done, and President Obama can’t make many of his Constitutionally-mandated appointments. This is the obstruction that is commonly blathered about in the media, but no one takes the time to explain, so then people blame all of Congress, rather than the FUCKING GOP ASSHOLES who are actually the ones mucking up the system and wasting time because they are sore loser crybabies who hate Our Glorified Leader, His Excellency Barack Obama, Esq.
However, Sen. Reid has said that he won’t begin any nuke-dropping until after the immigration bill moves, so it could be July before we see these fireworks (get it – July… fireworks? Whatever, you people only appreciate peener jokes. Fine, we’ll finish with one).
Let’s hope Sen. Reid can swing his turgid penis in the face of opposition, and spray the entire Senate with the sweet release of filibuster reform!
[HuffPo/Mother Jones/Washington Post/The Hill]
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Comments (77)
Also, too, remember that last January Judge David Sentelle (Asshat
Circuit Appeals Court) voided three of Barry's recess appointments
because pro forma sessions.
Fucking DO IT this time, Senator Reid!
DO IT!!!
In case any of the above is unclear:
For fuck's sake, do NOT make another empty threat--DO IT!!!!!
DO IT!!!
In case any of the above is unclear:
For fuck's sake, do NOT make another empty threat--DO IT!!!!!
Reply
I prefer the option that any Senator that holds up the vote on a
nominee must do so by personally taking a shit on the nominee's chest.
Of course, this would place all the power in the hands (or is that ass) of David Vitter.
Of course, this would place all the power in the hands (or is that ass) of David Vitter.
I dunno...your peener jokes make your fireworks jokes look pretty good.
Reply
I do not care to think of Harry Reid doing anything with his John Thomas, thanks.
maybe centrist Democrats can finally be persuaded to support serious filibuster reform. And the plan, apparently, is to do this at the same time that Republicans are likely to be ramping up yet another hostage-taking exercise over the debt ceiling, thus providing yet more evidence of their extremism. Should be fun.
OK, then maybe there was a point to caving on this issue earlier in the year.
That said, my previous comment above still applies...
Well the Republicans should happily go along with this, I mean they all
said that filibustering judicial nominees was the worst abuse of Senate
powers ever back when the Democrats were filibustering about a dozen of
Bush's judicial nominees and surely those objections were principled
and they would never be hypocritical enough as to change their positions
merely because of the change in party in both the Senate and the White
House.
Reply
Nothing there. Empty threats. Harry Ried is a wus.
Another suggestion: Any time a Senator invokes a filibuster, taxes on the top 2% must go up one full percentage point.
Or maybe you can only filibuster if your mistress has had an abortion in the last six months.
Or maybe you can only filibuster if your mistress has had an abortion in the last six months.
It's all a dog and pony show.
They don't care about you people.
~
They don't care about you people.
~
My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed
legislation that will outlaw the Tea Party Wackos forever. We begin
bombing in five minutes.
This is what I hate about politics - having to pay attention and
understand stuff, and then feeling like chewing a hole in the carpet
from outrage.
Reply
Reid changed Senate procedures with a unilateral vote in October 2011 when he and 50 members of his caucus voted to prevent Republicans from forcing votes on amendments after the chamber had voted to move to final passage of a bill.
McConnell protested the maneuver vehemently.
“We are fundamentally turning the Senate into the House,” he cried on the Senate floor. “The minority’s out of business.”
So Yertle admits that if his side is no longer allowed to do everything possible to prevent the Senate from getting anything done, his side is out of business. Good to know.
/FFS
Reply
I'll believe it when I see it. If GOP assholiness were any more
obvious, it would have a Mike Tyson face tatoo. Harry doesn't have the
balls to do it.
Reply
Right. Reid going nuclear. To quote Night of the Grizzly, "that old appleknocker, he aint' gonna do nuthin'."
Reply
Why are we still talking about this? Fucking do it or fucking don't, Harry, but stop fucking whining about it!
Reply
I don't get it. Just make them actually filibuster. Make them get up
there and read the phone book or whatevs until they get blood clots in
their legs.
Reply
The Scorpion and the Frog
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion
says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"
Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion
says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"
Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."
Reply
Senator Reid, I find your lack of cockpunching…disturbing.
It was a dark morning when Harry reached into the pantry for his usual mush, and accidentally opened up a can of WHOOP ASS...
Reply
The spineless Dems could have changed the rules at the start of this session if they wanted to.
The US Senate: where representative government goes to die.
The US Senate: where representative government goes to die.
Reply
Dear Harry Reid. Please grow a pair. Then use them. Thanks. Bye.
Reply
Harry Reid is much too much of a wuss to actually do anything like filibuster reform.
He should have been set out to pasture a long time ago. And we're the ones who have to end up hating ourselves for rooting for his useless ass because goddamn DSCC won't back any liberal Democrats because they're so busy sucking up to Wall Street and the corporate teat.
You could find a better Senate Majority Leader if you chose from the phone book at random. And that goes for Nancy Pelosi too, I'm sorry to say.
He should have been set out to pasture a long time ago. And we're the ones who have to end up hating ourselves for rooting for his useless ass because goddamn DSCC won't back any liberal Democrats because they're so busy sucking up to Wall Street and the corporate teat.
You could find a better Senate Majority Leader if you chose from the phone book at random. And that goes for Nancy Pelosi too, I'm sorry to say.
I don't normally employ all caps to make a point, but I think this
article calls for it...SENATOR HARRY FUCKING REID, STOP THREATENING,
HINTING, WARNING AND SAYING YOU WILL CONSIDER THE NUCLEAR OPTION AND
JUST GODDAMN FUCKING DO IT!!!
There, I feel better!
There, I feel better!
I call librul media shenanigans on this one. He's my Senator, and the record clearly shows he can.
"Sen. Asshat McClownfart (R-Flyover) can’t yap his pissflaps forever...."
"Sen. Asshat McClownfart (R-Flyover) can’t yap his pissflaps forever...."
Reply
BWAAAAAAAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA
[sob]
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA
[sob]
turgid penis? not likely, we'll get another sternly worded letter,
another empty promise and more hand wringing in front of the cameras
the real dog and pony show is the whole good cop/bad cop BS that we're subjected to. Harry and the rest of the Dems like the status quo just fine and only go through these motions to appease the base and when the GOP gets a little too greedy. 90+ out of 100 Senators care FAR more about their Senatorial privilege and the trappings of the institution than they do about the welfare of the country
/Notholdingmybreath
the real dog and pony show is the whole good cop/bad cop BS that we're subjected to. Harry and the rest of the Dems like the status quo just fine and only go through these motions to appease the base and when the GOP gets a little too greedy. 90+ out of 100 Senators care FAR more about their Senatorial privilege and the trappings of the institution than they do about the welfare of the country
/Notholdingmybreath
Reply
BTW, The Lord isn't trademarked anymore. It is now The Lord® , as he is a wholly owned subsidiary of British Petroleum
Reply
Constipated Congress.
Just saying.......
Just saying.......
If Reid doesn't go through with it, we'll get another explanation
about, at the end of the day, how the chicken is actually into this sort
of lifestyle, really.
A turgid, Hairy penis does not impress me much.
A turgid, blacksome Kenyan penis; that could bring the baggers to their knees.
WHIP IT OUT, USE THE FUCKER; MAKE THEM WHIMPER FOR MORE
A turgid, blacksome Kenyan penis; that could bring the baggers to their knees.
WHIP IT OUT, USE THE FUCKER; MAKE THEM WHIMPER FOR MORE
Reply
forget the nuclear option not good enough, at this desperate moment the only strategy is c*nt p*nting.
Reply
Is he going to release Mitt Romney's tax returns like he promised, too?
Because that would be fun. (BTW, I believe this along with 47% comment
helped do ole' Mittens in, so he deserves some credit there.)
Reply
Only an idiot would strike a deal with Mitch McConnell and expect the Divine Miss MM to actually do what he agreed to.
Reply
I read the headline as "Senator Reid threatens to drop a duke on congress". As if.
I like the idea of a tax increase for the upper 2% everytime they
filibuster maybe a 1 million dollar reduction in defense spending would
help them along
Reply
Or you could actually make them filibuster. Get the obstruction out
there where the whole country has to watch their bullshit. Endlessly. 24
hours a day of them cock blocking everything on TV news, CSPAN,
YouTube, whatever. Make it visible and maybe it will go away.
Reply
I think teabaggers should have to teabag nominees to block. I do not want to see this, but I don't watch CSPAN anyway.
Reply
It should be a simple majority. It always should be that. When you are
voting on something, even if its one vote, that is the deciding factor.
We vote to elect people that way (sort of for president). Every single
thing in life that is voted on, normally wins by a simple majority.
I never understood that need of getting 60 people out of a 100 to agree. In fact, supreme court decisions comes down to a 5-4 vote not a 6-3 or 7-2.
I never understood that need of getting 60 people out of a 100 to agree. In fact, supreme court decisions comes down to a 5-4 vote not a 6-3 or 7-2.
Reply
Srsly, DDM, can you record a vidya larnin' lecture series to play in
high school civics classes? It takes talent to keep surly teenagers
engaged with tedious political bullshit, even momentous bullshit. And you've got talent, buddy.
Reply
However, Sen. Reid has said that he won’t begin any nuke-dropping until after the immigration bill moves, so it could be July before we see these fireworks (get it – July… fireworks? Whatever, you people only appreciate peener jokes. Fine, we’ll finish with one).
Let’s hope Sen. Reid can swing his turgid penis in the face of opposition, and spray the entire Senate with the sweet release of filibuster reform!
I'll believe it when I see it and I doubt we'll see it because Harry Reid is an invertebrate.
Reply
DDM, you haven't been here long enough. It goes:
"Sen. Reid Threatens to Drop a Nuke on Congress...With Votes!"
BTW, isn't it crazy that returning the body to a slightly more democratic stance is called being "nuclear"? Somehow, considering the idea of moving to a simple majority is equivalent to Harry Reid piloting the Enola Gay over Japan.
"Sen. Reid Threatens to Drop a Nuke on Congress...With Votes!"
BTW, isn't it crazy that returning the body to a slightly more democratic stance is called being "nuclear"? Somehow, considering the idea of moving to a simple majority is equivalent to Harry Reid piloting the Enola Gay over Japan.
Reply
You know the biggest reason as to why they don't do it? It's lack of
courage because they are afraid that if they become the party of the
minority then power would be taken away from them. Here is my thing..
doing the right thing has ALWAYS been the honest thing. Do it now, fix
it today. Simple Majority.
Reply
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